it rises from all that's within, all that underlines my existence
it circles above me like a perpetual cloud in view
like siamese twins, what we share can not be escaped
no mattier if repressed or manifest, it will always continue...to be a part of me...

my heart is sinking...it's like it's emptying out...making room...everything else is being pushed out of it... wrenched out...i don't want it to open up and invite...we are in this together...and we all fall down...

the sky reflects the color of my heart;

it's morning rain are the tears of my soul...

cold air chills and surrounds me but it doesn't matter, i'm wrapped in your little arms...

rain keeps falling unto the pavement. this concrete earth, slick and reflective. she and i look outside from the windows, amazed, delighted at the rain drops pounding. giggling as i handle her toes, painting each one in red glitter. her laughter rolls through me, her eyes alive with glee and surprise. she's running around in her little indian costume. and i? i just sit back in complete content, in wonder and adoration. the sound of 'tea and sympathy' gently plays and it's melody mixed in with the sound of rain splattering outside us. such beauty in such a gray day, such beauty in the simple things around us.

from a phantom in my memory who likes to rise and reprise it's role from my past; i spoke to you concerning the world in which i was once in, the world that once held me captive to those who would not see it the way i do. words that have been relived too many times to count; i tell you what's in my world, what's in my heart. it's the deepest part of me. it's where i love the most, it's where i hurt the most and it will always be a place that can never be apart from you. it will always be a place that holds you dearer than anything other than you and what has been given to us. no matter what vestiges come to surface, no matter if my troubles become an obsession that refuses to unbind me from it's pain; no matter what living ghosts come out from the shadows of my mind to trouble me again, you are always there. you are always with me. i am bound to you, to you alone. remember, i love you and i belong to you. always...

good night. may your dreams lift you above every height. may your dreams let you fly to every world that exist within the heart of your imagination. good night, i say, good night.

sometimes you just want to be somewhere. to be there and anonymous all at the same time. to release words that may or may not make sense. to be places and suddenly, no longer exist there. to come back to other places like you never left. where you have permission to unload everything and anything and it doesn't matter what it is or who it is about. i want you to know me and i want to remain unknown. to start over or return to a place that has always been there for you. this is where i am today. this is who i am today...